mummy told me today about her gum disease and how she's going to extract her teeth. as i sat there listening to her, something cold hit me: mummmy is getting old. of course i've always told her she was old and knows nothing about "us youngsters", but today i realised that she really isn't young anymore.

i know she won't be around for much longer, maybe another 20 years or so. and i realised what a fucked up daughter i've been. all my life i've known nothing but to ask for money, ask for things. i've never once told her i loved her, or written her a note. i've never once made her proud, only made her come to school to see the principal. i've always accused her of being a lousy mother because she never was around, but i forgot how she always gets breakfast ready before she leaves the house, spends her lunch hour buying food and bringing it home to us, and calls for pizza when she won't be home for dinner.

i never thought she was an exemplary mother, but if i had to repay her for what she's done all these years now, i wouldn't know where to begin.

scribbled
6:44 PM